Customers and Co-Workers: Dealing with Emotions

Any discussion of customer service and dealing with people needs to touch on the subject of emotions and stress.

Negative or unpleasant emotions and stress are what make dealing with employees and customers sometimes difficult. If everyone were happy and relaxed then dealing with people would be a snap and stress free. Of course this is not always the case.

Sometimes a person is temporarily grumpy or miserable. Life is full of surprises, some good and some bad. When a person is under any type of stress or strain it changes their emotional outlook. This in turn changes how a person communicates, how well they listen to what you have to say and of course what comes out of their mouth.

Everyone has experienced moments when they were under stress and said or did things that they may have later regretted. This doesn’t mean that the person is bad or always like this, in this case it was a temporary thing.

Then there are people who are just generally irritable, grumpy or unhappy. We have all encountered such people. In this case their emotional state is not temporary. For example: a person who always disagrees or argues or the customer that you just can’t please no matter what you do or say.

The difference is that in the first case the person soon “comes out of it” and goes back to being himself or herself, while in the second case the person stays in an unhappy condition.

Dealing with customers, employees or co-workers

Temporary upsets

            When a person feels that something did not go as planned it can upset them. Some people get upset when there is any change, or if something unexpected happens. If a customer has certain expectations which are not being met this will cause some problems, not to mention if the customer feels that your company did not do what was advertised or promised.

When someone yells at you does it change your emotional outlook? How about when you get a speeding ticket? Are you happy about this? An otherwise happy person can become angry, sad, worried, etc temporarily when something happens that they don’t want to have happen!

When a customer is upset it is usually because either your company actually did do something wrong or the customers feels that you did something wrong.

A customer may be irritated and direct this to you or your company when the actual source of the upset was elsewhere. Maybe the person just received a speeding ticket, got laid off, or is ill. All of these things probably came as somewhat of an unwanted surprise and were not on the person’s wish list for the day!

It doesn’t matter what caused the customer to be upset. The biggest mistake that you can make is to take it personally and become upset yourself. Being defensive is one of the most common reactions. Interrupting the person because you don’t want to hear the customer’s problems is another one.

Sometimes what a customer is saying is pretty crazy. Once I called the phone company and was ready to scream at the person on the phone because they “couldn’t find my account”. Then it dawned on me that I was calling the wrong phone company!

Emotions are interesting. Just being near someone in a specific emotion can have an effect on ones mood and outlook. Of course when a customer is emitting a strong negative emotion it’s more difficult to remain light hearted.

Being able to master ones emotions and remain calm is a vital necessity when dealing with customers. It can also come in handy when being married, having a family or in any relationships!

The most important attributes of anyone dealing with customers are: friendly, calm, interested, helpful and knowledgeable about their services or products.

What about the person who is always unpleasant to deal with?

Customers:

Generally it would take many different interactions with a customer to know if they fall into the impossible to please category. But if this is the case, what does one do?

Of course all of the points above for dealing with unhappy customers apply: being friendly, calm, interested, helpful and knowledgeable. With such customers one needs to triple their efforts!

Sometimes it’s best to find another person to deal with the customer. Some personalities don’t mesh well. So you can tag team with another co-worker. In many cases this alone can turn the situation around and everyone will be happy. If you do this and it works, don’t take it personally! No one gets along with everyone.

Just recognizing that the person is generally grumpy or irritable can help. RULE: once you know the general emotional condition of a person you can predict what they will do and say. Knowing this you can keep from becoming upset about them. This rule can be helpful in dealing some customers and possibly even select relatives!!!

I am also a firm believer in the idea that you don’t have to like everyone. And you don’t have to service everyone. If a customer is just too belligerent then in some cases it may be better to send them elsewhere for service. Customers can fire their provider. Well, service providers can also “fire” a customer!

Employees and Co-workers:

What if you work with someone who is constantly miserable, grumpy and unhappy?

First of all make sure that you are looking at things on a long term basis, don’t look at a temporary condition.

People who are constantly negative don’t tend to have good days and bad days. They have bad days and worse days! Such people tend to get upset very easily and then stay that way. Another characteristic is that they tend to blame someone else for their problems. It’s never their fault.

Gossiping and spreading negative news or rumors is another favorite pastime. An interesting fact is that when they do spread gossip or rumors it is usually about your most productive employees!

There are many words written about stress at work. One idea is that stress comes from being busy. In my experience stress at work comes from having to work with someone who is constantly negative. Its hard to get excited about going to work if you know that you’re going to have to listen to Joe or Sally complain all day long!

I have hired many professional people in many different businesses. I have found that one of their main concerns is the atmosphere of the work place. Is there lots of unrest? Gossiping? Back biting? More and more people understand that this is the cause of stress at work and want to get away from such places.

When you trace it down you will probably find that the majority of the stress and drama at work comes from a very few people.

Don’t make excuses for such people. Just apply your regular HR procedures and start to hunt for a replacement!

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