The simplest way to decrease the number of customer service calls is to smarten up. Look at all the stupid things companies do to irritate their customers.
There is the company that you call and get their automated phone system. (All automated phone systems should be trashed right now. They are spawns of Satan and any money they save is 10 times wasted through the pissed off customers who decide to look elsewhere for service.) You know, where you have to enter (or say!) your name, address, zip code, account number, social security number, mother’s maiden name and if you remember it, your secret password to “get started” only to have to begin at the start when you finally get a person on the phone line.
I get this all the time from airlines, banks, phone companies, etc. By the time you do get a live person on the phone you’re ready to yell and scream. If you make the effort to complain about their inefficient, irritating phone answering system you will inevitably get some response like; “I am very sorry that our phone system didn’t work right, we have been having problems with it…” or some other lame explanation of why you have to repeat everything 6 times and wait 18 minutes to get the right person on the line. But you can tell from listening to their half hearted apologies and explanations that there is absolutely NO plan to ever change any of what they are doing. Often the people you do get to talk to are already themselves in a lousy mood, doubtless from having to deal with the last 150 customers who called and were nasty about their stupid phone system.
I mean, what were they thinking? How did the conversation go?
“Hey Joe, I have a great idea, it will drive all of our customer service reps to antidepressants or suicide for sure!”
“Cool dude, what is it?”
“Look, we’ll have some totally annoying automated system asking all sorts of dumb questions. We’ll make sure that none of this info is passed on anywhere useful. Then when the customer is really pissed we’ll transfer them to the rep. Hey, we can even record the whole thing and listen to it later and laugh our asses off!”
“Awesome! When do we start it?”
I have been on several very long customer service calls recently where I spoke to the friendliest customer service reps on the planet. Only problem was that they didn’t know the first thing about what they were doing.
Hello Mr. Porter, Thank you for calling Mr. Porter. Can I put you on hold Mr. Porter? Thank you for waiting, Mr. Porter. I will try to get that information for you Mr. Porter. Can I ask you to hold again, Mr. Porter? I am sorry that I had to keep you on hold so long, Mr. Porter. Thank you for being so patient, Mr. Porter. May I please ask you to hold again, Mr. Porter? I am sorry this is taking so long Mr. Porter. I mean every question I asked it took the person 20 to 30 minutes to get the answer! I spent 90 minutes on the phone and didn’t know if I was going to laugh or cry when I was done. These companies had both the best mannered and the poorest trained customer service staff I have ever heard.
I have a bank account with a large national bank. And just last week I found out they were taking out $9.95 each month for something called “credit defense”. I called and asked to have it stopped. They said, well, it’s not us, it’s another company that’s taking your money for that “service”, you’ll have to call them.” I said, “How did they get my account data? You gave it to them!” “Oh, were so sorry Mr. Porter, you’ll have to call this number”.
I guess that when I signed up for the bank account there was a line on the form for me to sign if I didn’t want this service. I was already signed up for it, automatically. If I didn’t want it, I had to specifically un-sign up. Sort of like the record of the month club, where if you didn’t mail in something each month then they would send you a new album and bill you for it.
So, I call, and cancel. I also hate it when they want to do whole survey on me at that point. “Why are you leaving us, Mr. Porter? Is there something wrong with our service?” I was in a bad mood so I said: “Yes, I don’t want your service, I never asked for your service, I am offended that you signed me up for your service without my approval, I am irritated that you took my money and I think your service is a rip off.” That ended the phone conversation rather quickly.
So, I got that done and then called the bank back to have my money credited.
Guess what they told me? “Well, Mr. Porter, we can’t credit the money unless you got the special code from the company we just had you call. Did they give you the special cancellation code? No? Well, I am sorry Mr. Porter, but they really should have given you the code, with out it we cannot credit your account.
I don’t know what to think of all this. Either these people who design these systems are too stupid to get it, or just don’t care. I have to go with they just don’t care. Any idiot can see that this is just going to irritate the customers.
What is the moral of the story?
Don’t create upsets with your customers!
Think it through, make sure that YOU personally go through the entire system yourself as a customer and see what the experience is like. You MUST look at every procedure you have and ask yourself “how would I react if this were said or done to ME.” I am certain that execs of many big companies are NOT doing this. Otherwise they would see how absolutely insane things are.
I am sure that if you could do the math and calculate how much money the automated system saves, or how much salary can be cut back by farming out the customer service and compare that number to how many customers get irritated due to the automated system and go elsewhere, calculating out how much revenue is lost from this, and how much money needs to be spent on new marketing and advertising to make up for these losses and the bad reference these “old” customers spread. I am sure that you would see that it is plain stupid from a dollar and cents point of view.
Head ‘em off at the pass!
When customers do leave you for another service or product provider it is usually after a series of small stupid mistakes. It’s not just one small error. But many large companies are doing one thing after another apparently designed to irritate the customers. The companies that are worse are the ones where it is harder (or in some cases impossible) to change providers. Cell phone companies, banks, insurance companies, cable providers to name a few constantly rank in the top of the companies with the worst customer service.
When a customer is unhappy with their service and needs to talk to someone you have already missed the boat. The real goal is to not irritate them in the first place. Of course you will always need to have staff trained to handle unhappy campers, but by far most of your emphasis MUST be on how top prevent any upset from happening.
One of the best ways to do this is to simple be very friendly and kind with the customer. Of course, as in the earlier example, this must be backed up with some one who has a clue about what to do to rectify problems. But if you have consistently delivered better than expected service to the customer for some time and if your service has been friendly and intelligent, then when your company does screw up the customer will be much more forgiving.
Honestly it is inevitable that there will be some mistakes from time to time. But each mistake needs to be viewed as an opportunity to improve. If these errors are followed up and the causes understood and a handling implemented then the volume of errors decreases.
If nothing is really done, if the handling is just some sloppy lip service given to customer service then it shows that the executives in charge don’t give a damn about anything other than their pay checks and need to be replaced!
The way customers are greeted is huge! When they phone in or come into the office. A smile, remembering their name and personal details, being friendly, funny, kind. These things oil the wheels and can take the squeak out of many mistakes that you may make.
In government offices the public often come in expecting a long line, staff who don’t care, undecipherable paperwork and general uncaring personnel to “help” them. When you walk in with a chip on your shoulder, expecting trouble you usually find it. What if you were greeted cheerily and with interest? In a post office or a DMV? Wouldn’t it just blow your circuits? Something as simple as that can set the tone for the entire sequence of events that takes place.
So the point here is that it’s not just about avoiding the negative things that irritate the customers, but also working to create a fun, friendly and helpful environment.
So, here are our two golden rules:
- Don’t create upsets, and
- Head ‘em off at the pass!
Follow these two rules in all points of contact with your customers and you will make life better and your company bigger in no time.
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